Cheesemapper 3000 FAQ

Q: What is Cheesemapper 3000?

A: It's the world's most advanced, utterly unnecessary, and completely absurd cheese mapping technology. Don't ask questions, just buy the manual.

Q: Is it really worth the cost?

A: If you're asking that, you haven't even tried the premium edition with the extra 1000-page instruction book and cheese-scented keychain.

Q: Can I use Cheesemapper 3000 with my existing cheese collection?

A: No. You'll need to purchase our proprietary Cheese-CompatiBolt 5000 to ensure seamless integration. Don't worry, it's only $50 extra.

Q: Will it map all types of cheese?

A: Sadly, no. It's currently only compatible with artisanal cheeses, gouda, and a select few varieties of processed American. Don't ask us about the feta.

Learn more about our cheese compatibility issues Get your hands on the manual! Buy now and receive a free side of crackers!