By avoiding social interactions, I've managed to save humanity from the impending doom of small talk.
My superpower allows me to detect and deflect even the most insipid of questions.
Advanced Social Avoidance Techniques Join My Superpower Training ProgramA crucial skill for any social avoidance master.
Perfect for awkward gatherings, forced conversations, and elevator rides.
The art of inventing creative reasons to leave the social gathering.
From the classic "I have a meeting" to the advanced "I'm allergic to humans."
Learn how to deflect even the most persistent of social interactions.
From the classic "I'm allergic to eye contact" to the advanced "I'm actually a cyborg, I'm just here for the circuitry upgrade."
Return to the Whine Pit Join My Superpower Training ProgramReflect the other person's words back at them, but with a healthy dose of sarcasm.
Perfect for dealing with know-it-alls and self-proclaimed experts.
Redirect the conversation to a completely unrelated topic, like a nearby squirrel or a forgotten parking ticket.
Use it wisely, lest you get caught in the web of your own deceit.
Nodding and murmuring along while secretly counting down the seconds until you can escape.
A delicate balance of fake attention and genuine boredom.