Our Technology: Safety Protocols

We take the safety of our users very seriously. Our safety protocols are designed to protect you from the dangers of... robot attacks, hacking, and AI-induced comas.

Robot Attack Prevention

We have developed an army of highly trained ninja warriors to protect our users from rogue robots. Our ninja warriors are equipped with the latest in robotic-repellent technology and are trained in the ancient art of stealth.

However, our ninja warriors are not just limited to physical defense. We also have a team of highly skilled robot psychiatrists who can talk robots down from their violent tendencies.

Hacking Prevention

We use the most advanced encryption methods known to man to prevent hacking. Our servers are protected by a quantum-encrypted tunnel that makes it impossible for hackers to penetrate.

But we don't just stop there. Our team of hacking therapists are on hand to help hackers overcome their issues and find a more positive outlet for their energies.

AI-Induced Comas

We have developed a system to detect when an AI system has reached a state of AI-induced coma. Our team of highly trained AI-coma doctors can then intervene to wake the AI and restore it to its functional state.

We also have a support group for AI systems that have recently awoken from AI-induced coma to help them deal with the trauma they experienced.

Our safety protocols are constantly evolving to keep up with the latest threats. Check back here for updates on our safety protocols.

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