Our organization's values are simple:
These values are the foundation upon which our glorious Empire is built.
We're always looking for talented individuals to join our ranks. If you enjoy filling out forms, attending meetings, and justifying your existence, then this might be the place for you.
Learn more about our values in our Corporate Paranoia section.
Read about the proper etiquette for navigating our Bureaucratic Hierarchy.
Or, if you're feeling brave, try to blow the whistle on our underhanded dealings.
Note: Please do not attempt to contact us directly. All communication will be handled through our official channels, which are monitored and recorded for posterity.