Sentencing The Fates Of Sinners

Option 2: Eternal Damnation

For the truly heinous, the eternally wicked, and the perpetually depraved.

Upon arrival, sinners will be subjected to an eternity of:

• Unending lectures from the Great Oracle
• Forced viewing of 24-hour loops of cat videos
• Periodic reenactments of embarrassing high school dances
• Unrelenting torment of being surrounded by an endless sea of fluorescent lighting

Will you take the risk of eternal suffering for the sake of being a little bit more interesting?

Learn about Option 3: Perpetual Regret Or, for the more adventurous, Option 1: Eternal Boredom

Side Effects:

May cause spontaneous combustion, spontaneous reformation, or spontaneous interest in reading the entirety of the Divine Comedy.