Chrono-Toast Safety Guidelines

Section 1: The Dangers of Time Travel

Time travel, in the form of chrono-toast, is a serious business. It's not just for the rich and famous, but for anyone who's ever had to deal with a nagging sense of urgency.

Don't travel through time while eating. Trust us, it's not worth it.
Keep your chrono-toast travel documents up to date. Outdated records can cause serious temporal paradoxes.
Don't try to travel through time with a pacemaker. It's just not a good idea.

Section 2: Safety Precautions for the Adventurous

For those who refuse to be deterred by Section 1, we have some additional safety precautions for you.

Make sure your chrono-toast has a valid temporal passport.
Don't try to travel through time with a pet. They might get left behind.
Don't travel through time while under the influence of chrono-latin.

Section 3: Emergency Procedures

Something has gone wrong. You're in a timestream emergency.

In the event of chrono-displacement, remain calm and call 911.
If you're experiencing temporal vertigo, seek medical attention immediately.
If your chrono-toast has been hijacked, contact the Time Traveler's Union.

Section 4: Conclusion

You've made it to the end of our guidelines! Congratulations. You're now ready to take on the challenges of chrono-toast travel with confidence.

Or you could just go back and read the whole thing again.

Back to the beginning