Welcome, citizen! You've found the Deputy's Den, where the line between official and unofficial is blurred beyond recognition. Here, we serve the people, but not really. We're more like, 'We serve ourselves, and maybe, kind of, sort of, you.'
Learn about the Deputy's Code of Conduct - Our 17-point list of 'dos and don'ts' for being a good deputy.
Or, if you're feeling adventurous, try our Denial of Service page, where we serve up the most creative excuses for not doing your bidding.
And, because we're a real treat, check out our Paradox Page, where we explore the infinite possibilities of being right and wrong at the same time.
Directives - A collection of completely-not-official directives from the Deputy's Desk.
Decisions, Decisions - A page where we pretend to make choices, but really, we just flip a coin.
Or, if all that's not enough, visit our Denial of Service Escalation page, where things get really, really weird.
Talk to our Therapist, because, you know, we're really not sure what's going on here.
Stay classy, citizen!