DEPUTY DIRECTIVES

You have reached the Deputy's Desk, where orders are given and received with a flourish.

Below are the latest Directives for Moustachio-Management and Public Safety:

• Mandate 1: All Moustaches Must be Worn with Pride
• Mandate 2: Mandatory Moustache Maintenance Sessions
• Mandate 3: Proportional Moustache Lengthening

Remember, a well-groomed moustache is not just a symbol of authority, but a reflection of your commitment to the greater good.