Directive 1: Mandatory Pencil Sharpening

By order of the Bureaucratic Council, all office workers are required to sharpen their pencils at least once a week. Failure to comply will result in a 5% reduction in coffee breaks.

Directive 2: Mandatory Lunchtime Jell-O

Due to an unexpected surplus of gelatin, all employees are required to consume a serving of Jell-O with every meal. Side effects may include: gelatinous skin, temporary loss of taste buds, and spontaneous singing.

Directive 3: Mandatory Disco Dancing

New Mandates

Directive 1: Mandatory Pencil Sharpening

By order of the Bureaucratic Council, all office workers are required to sharpen their pencils at least once a week. Failure to comply will result in a 5% reduction in coffee breaks.

Learn more

Directive 2: Mandatory Lunchtime Jell-O

Due to an unexpected surplus of gelatin, all employees are required to consume a serving of Jell-O with every meal. Side effects may include: gelatinous skin, temporary loss of taste buds, and spontaneous singing.

Read the fine print

Directive 3: Mandatory Disco Dancing

Every Friday, at exactly 3:45 PM, all employees are required to don their best polyester jumpsuits and dance the Hustle in the conference room. Refusal will result in a 10% decrease in weekend hours.

Get your disco on

Directive 4: Mandatory Sarcasm

New Mandates

Directive 1: Mandatory Pencil Sharpening

By order of the Bureaucratic Council, all office workers are required to sharpen their pencils at least once a week. Failure to comply will result in a 5% reduction in coffee breaks.

Learn more

Directive 2: Mandatory Lunchtime Jell-O

Due to an unexpected surplus of gelatin, all employees are required to consume a serving of Jell-O with every meal. Side effects may include: gelatinous skin, temporary loss of taste buds, and spontaneous singing.

Read the fine print

Directive 3: Mandatory Disco Dancing

Every Friday, at exactly 3:45 PM, all employees are required to don their best polyester jumpsuits and dance the Hustle in the conference room. Refusal will result in a 10% decrease in weekend hours.

Get your disco on

Directive 4: Mandatory Sarcasm

As of today, all employees are required to express themselves through biting sarcasm at all times. Failure to comply will result in a 5% reduction in productivity.

Sarcasm is our love language

Directive 5: Mandatory Bureaucratic Red Tape

As of today, all employees are required to fill out a minimum of 10 pages of paperwork per day. Failure to comply will result in a 5% reduction in paid vacation days.

Bureaucratic paperwork is our love