Phase 1: Initial Response

Substep 2: Coffee Machine Malfunction

The coffee machine has malfunctioned, but don't panic! This is just a drill.

Proceed to Protocol and Procedure for further instructions.

Or, if you're feeling particularly adventurous, you can try to Bypass the Standard Protocol and risk catastrophic consequences.

Important: Do Not Use the Coffee Machine

Until further notice, do not attempt to operate the coffee machine. This is not a drill. Seriously, don't do it.

Back to Phase 1
Proceed to Phase 2: Advanced Response
Phase 3: Full-blown Panic Mode