Preventing Accidental Jazz Hands: A Wardrobe Protocol

By: The Department of Redundant Regulations

Document ID: DJH-001

Executive Summary

In a shocking turn of events, our research team has discovered that accidental jazz hands have become an epidemic in the workplace. These uncontrolled, uncoordinated movements have resulted in numerous injuries, productivity losses, and awkward elevator rides.

Background

In a world where productivity is key, our team has identified the root cause of this crisis: the overuse of social media, excessive coffee consumption, and an increase in meetings.

Our research indicates that the more meetings an employee attends, the higher the likelihood of them experiencing an Accidental Jazz Hand (AJH).

Methodology

We conducted an exhaustive study involving 1000 employees, observing their hand movements during meetings, coffee breaks, and social interactions. Our data reveals a clear link between the number of meetings attended and the likelihood of accidental jazz hands.

Findings

Recommendations

We recommend the implementation of a Wardrobe Protocol to mitigate the risks associated with accidental jazz hands.

This protocol includes:

• Limiting meeting attendance to 3 hours or less
• Providing an on-site yoga instructor to teach employees how to properly use their hands
• Installing handrails in the office to prevent accidental jazz hands during meetings

View Procedure

Related Links

• Wardrobe Protocol
• Implementation Guide
• Evaluation Report

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Caveats

Our research has limitations, as we were unable to account for the influence of memes on accidental jazz hands.

Further research is needed to fully understand the relationship between memes, social media, and accidental jazz hands.

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