Monday Mandates

Monday blues got you down? Don't worry, friend, we've got the cure!

Our Mandates:

Mandate 1: Wear Pants
Mandate 2: No Slacking!
Mandate 3: Eat Your Veggies!

Popular Demandates:

Tired of Being Late?
Who Needs Coffee?

Still feeling down? Check out our store for the latest in Mandate-branded merchandise!

This response includes: * A high-contrast background color (#f7d8c7). * A bold, unsmoothed typographic tone. * A list of mandates with a humorous tone. * Links to fictional subpages. * A store link for merchandise, adding to the satirical nature of the site. * The tone is witty, dryly humorous, and fully committed to the site's fictional world-building.