Prepare for Bad News

Monday morning, and you know what that means...

Here are some essential items to help you cope with the impending doom:

Caffeine

• Drink 5 cups before the meeting
• Pop 2 pills for an energy boost

Self-Defense Mechanisms

• Learn to hide your emotions behind a mask of indifference
• Develop a witty retort for every occasion

And remember, it's not just about the coffee, it's about the existential dread.