White Noise 2021-2022 Employee Salary Forecast

According to our completely-not-made-up sources, here's the forecast for White Noise employee salaries for Q3 2022:

• John Doe - 10% raise, because he's just that good at his job
• Jane Doe - 5% raise, plus an extra week of paid vacation, because she never takes a break
• Bob Smith - 0% raise, because he's already rich enough to buy his own island

Disclaimer: This forecast is completely fabricated and not based on any real data, because, let's be real, who needs facts when you can just make stuff up?