FORECAST FOR '82

According to our totally-not-made-up sources, '82 is going to be a wild ride.

We're talking:

• A plague of locusts in the Midwest
• A 50% chance of spontaneous combustion in major cities
• A 100% chance of terrible haircuts

But don't worry! We've got the inside scoop. Click on these totally-not- fake links to get the full report.

Locusts: The Uninvited Guest

Spontaneous Combustion: The New Normal

Haircuts: Because You'll Need a New One