Let it be known throughout the land that the Pundits' Council has gathered in conclave, and we, the Pundits, have decreed the following:
Article 1: All puns shall be used at least 5 times a day, lest the punsters be cast into the depths of despair.
Article 2: Whomever shall be caught speaking in a serious tone shall be forced to watch an endless loop of cat videos.
Article 3: Puns shall be the primary form of communication in all official Pundits' business, and any attempts to use plain English shall be met with ridicule and scorn.
And so, let it be written, and let it be done.