Bureaucratic Etiquette Guide

Table of Contents

1. Etiquette for the Inebriated
2. Etiquette for the Inept
3. Etiquette for the Invincible
4. Advanced Tactics for the Invincible

When interacting with the bureaucracy, it's essential to follow the rules of etiquette to avoid getting tangled in an endless loop of paperwork and red tape.

Chapter 1: The Inebriated

When dealing with a bureaucrat who is clearly intoxicated, it's best to:

1. Avoid direct eye contact.
2. Use gentle, soothing tones.
3. Offer a glass of water.
4. Do not, under any circumstances, try to reason with them.

Remember: a drunk bureaucrat is a powerful bureaucrat.

Chapter 2: The Inept

When dealing with a bureaucrat who clearly doesn't know what they're doing, it's best to:

1. Bring a flowchart.
2. Bring a dictionary.
3. Be prepared to explain things at least 5 times.

Remember: an inep bureaucrat is a learning bureaucrat.

Chapter 3: The Invincible

When dealing with a bureaucrat who thinks they are invincible, it's best to:

1. Be prepared to challenge their every move.
2. Bring a firehose full of evidence.
3. Be prepared to wait for 5 years.

Remember: an invincible bureaucrat is a bureaucrat who will eventually get bored with being right.

Chapter 4: Advanced Tactics for the Invincible

When dealing with an invincible bureaucrat who has finally gotten bored with being right, it's best to:

1. Offer to trade them a sandwich.
2. Be prepared to negotiate the meaning of "yes" and "no".
3. Bring a whoopee cushion.

Remember: even invincible bureaucrats have a soft spot for snacks.

And so, dear citizen, may you navigate the treacherous waters of bureaucracy with the finesse of a seasoned diplomat!

Continue to Chapter 4: Advanced Tactics for the Inept