Step 1: Master the art of doing nothing productive for 4 hours a day without getting caught.
Step 2: Invent your own holiday and force your family to celebrate it with you every year.
Step 3: Develop a passion for collecting weird socks and display them proudly on your mantle.
Step 4: Learn to eat an entire pizza by yourself in one sitting without batting an eye.
Step 5: Write a strongly worded letter to the manufacturer of your favorite video game and demand better graphics.
Step 6: Invent a new sport that requires only one player and a lot of shouting.
Step 7: Convince your friends that you've always been a professional athlete and demand they call you 'The Champion of Awesomness'.
Step 8: Create an entire language that nobody understands, but you.
Step 9: Hold an emergency meeting with yourself to discuss the state of the world and your own greatness.