Welcome, fellow snack enthusiasts, to the revolutionary treatise that will change the world. Or, at the very least, change your snack options.
As a proud member of the Snacktivist movement, you're probably aware that the current snack landscape is a dystopian nightmare of bland, uninspired offerings. It's time to rise up and demand better.
Here's the core principles of our movement:
No more soggy, no more squishy. Every snack must have a satisfying crunch that awakens the senses.
You should never be forced to choose between 'mildly interesting' and 'utterly unremarkable'. We demand an endless array of options, each one more thrilling than the last.
Snack time is sacred. It's the one time of day when you can truly be alone with your thoughts, or with your snack, without fear of judgment or intrusion.
Join us in our quest for snack revolution!
Sign the Revolutionary Pledge, and take the first step towards a snacking utopia.
Read the Full Snacktivist Manifesto for more details on the principles and goals of our movement.
Check out the Addendum for some additional, highly-relevant supplementary materials.
Or, if you're feeling particularly bold, pledge your snack-filled allegiance directly.
Together, we can make snack history!