Dirty Socks as a Form of Self-Defense

When the world outside gets too much, some of us turn to the ultimate form of self-defense: dirty socks. It's a tactic as old as time itself, but just as effective as ever.

Avoidance, distraction, and misdirection are all key components to this strategy.

Here are a few expert tips:

• Wear the offending sock in question, preferably on your foot, but not necessarily.
• Make eye contact with the enemy, then nonchalantly kick your foot under the table.
• Blame the sock for the distraction.

For further study on the subject, visit:

• The Sock-Based Panic Attack
• The Sock Fu of Justice
• Socks as a Form of Peace Keeping

Or for a more in-depth look at the history of Sock-based self-defense, visit:

• The Socks of Ancient Greece
• The Rise of the Dirty Sock Dynasties
• The Sock Inquisition