STAPLER 9000

The STAPLER 9000 is an advanced paper alignment system designed for the most discerning of paper-pushers.

With its patented Advanced Paper Alignment Technology, the STAPLER 9000 can accurately align even the most recalcitrant of papers.

But be warned: the STAPLER 9000's side effects may include, but are not limited to: excessive neatness, decreased paper jam occurrences, and increased risk of spontaneous human combustion due to overuse.

Disclaimer: Do not use the STAPLER 9000 near open flames or loose change.

Frequently Asked Questions

For more information, contact our support team.

The STAPLER 9000