The Stapler 9000 is an advanced paper alignment system designed for the most discerning paper enthusiast. It's like a stapler, but better. Much, much better.
With its patented Staple-Tronic technology, the Stapler 9000 can align your papers in a way that's both efficient and aesthetically pleasing.
A: Yes, the Stapler 9000 is designed with paper safety in mind. Its specifications include a built-in paper crumplenator to prevent accidental paper jams and a Lifetime Warranty against paper-related injuries.
A: Simply visit our downloads page and download the latest update. Follow the on-screen instructions to upgrade your Stapler 9000 to the latest and greatest.
A: Unfortunately, our research and development team has found that the Stapler 9000 is not compatible with most staplers. We recommend upgrading your stapler collection to the latest and greatest, or risk facing the terrors of stapler incompatibility.
A: You can contact us through our contact form or by calling our toll-free number: 1-800-STAPLER-9000. Please note that due to high volume of calls, our support team may be delayed in responding. We apologize for the inconvenience.
A: To clean your Stapler 9000, simply use a soft-brush and some Stapler 9000-approved cleaning solution. Do not use any other cleaning methods, as they may cause damage to your Stapler 9000.
A: While the Stapler 9000 is primarily designed for paper alignment, our team has been experimenting with using it for other tasks, such as stapling small toys and aligning socks. Results may vary.