WARNING: The following report is classified as "STAPLER-SAFE" and has been approved for public viewing by the Ministry of Stapler Safety and Regulation.
Case File #STAP001: Stapling the Mailman for Revenge
A disgruntled citizen, known only as "The Avenger", has been observed stapling their neighbor, Mailman Bob, for his repeated failures to deliver a package of imported Swedish fish.
Witnesses report that The Avenger employed a trusty 4-needle stapler, model 3000-D, in a swift and deadly manner.
Mailman Bob is currently in stable condition, though his uniform is in need of repair.
Recommendations for future stapling incidents include: