We're Not Kidding, You're Excessive
Are you tired of getting your internet service terminated due to "excessive usage"? Do you find yourself scrolling through memes for hours on end, wondering where it all went wrong? Look no further than the Excessive Usage Treatment Program, proudly serving the Unlimited Data Plan Aquamation community since 2023.
Our team of expert therapists and internet moderators will guide you through our patented 5-step program to help you find your digital balance and get back online ASAP.
Step 1: Inventory of all devices connected to your account
Step 2: Digital Detox (a.k.a. "We're going to shut off the Wi-Fi for a week")
Step 3: Social Media Self-Care (a.k.a. "We're going to unfollow everyone")
Step 4: Therapy Sessions (a.k.a. "We're going to make you talk about your feelings... again")
Step 5: Accountability Meeting (a.k.a. "We're going to make you promise to be good")
And that's it! You're done! (Or are you?)