Tip #2: Never Say Yes to Coffee
Listen, bro, you know what's bad news? Coffee. It's like, a total buzzkill. Ruins your mood, gives you the jitters, makes you wanna be all anxious and stuff. No thanks. Stick to water, or better yet, just go back to bed.
Bro- Tip #3: Never Trust a Man with a Beard
Guys with beards are like, the ultimate bro- con artists. They're all like "Oh, I'm just a free spirit, dude" but really they're just a bunch of hipsters who can't get a real job. Don't trust 'em. Stick to the clean-shaven bros.