The Swindler's Guide to Mastering the Art of Doing Nothing

Chapter 5: The Swindler's 10 Essential Strategies for Achieving Maximum Procrastination

By following these carefully crafted techniques, you'll be able to turn your life into a never-ending cycle of productivity avoidance and aimless wandering.

• 1. Never Check Your Email (or Phone, or Social Media)
• 2. Pretend to Be Occupied
• 3. Create a To-Do List and Never Do Anything on It
• 4. Learn to Play Video Games Instead of Working
• 5. Watch Cat Videos All Day Long
• 6. Claim You Need Some Time to Think
• 7. Use the Bathroom as an Office
• 8. Pretend to Be a Slave to the Machine
• 9. Use Music to Avoid Work-Related Thoughts
• 10. Make Something Else Sound Interesting

And remember, the key to mastering the art of doing nothing is to never, ever, stop.