Caffeine Control Methods

In the interest of maintaining a productive work environment, the following methods have been implemented to control caffeine usage:

• Method 1: Mandatory Coffee-Free Fridays
• Method 2: In-Office Espresso Extraction
• Method 3: Mandatory 10am Caffeine Withdrawal Interviews
• Method 4: Automated Coffee Pot Surveillance

Remember: excessive caffeine usage will not be tolerated. You've been warned.