Zero Tolerance Protocol: Bathroom Heist

The Great Bathroom Heist

According to highly classified sources, the Zero Tolerance Protocol was originally designed to combat the scourge of toilet paper hoarding in the early 2000s.

But what started as a noble effort to prevent the Great Paperless Crisis of 2005 soon devolved into a full-blown surveillance state.

Now, every bathroom in the country is monitored by AI-powered toilet sensors, tracking the most intimate details of your bowel movements.

But don't just take our word for it! Read the classified documents for yourself: