LEG DAY REST PLAN
In a world where your legs hurt and your motivation is lower than your blood sugar, it's time to get real.
Read the Pledge
Step 1: Wake up. Get out of bed.
- Drink a gallon of water
- Eat 17 bowls of oatmeal
- Put on your best 'I'm-a-functioning-member-of-society' outfit
Step 2: Squeeze into workout gear
- Put on your favorite neon-colored leg warmers
- Get a good pair of sweatpants with built-in knee pads
- Realize you still have 10 minutes to get to the gym and it's 5 miles away
Step 3: Squeeze into a squat rack
- Do 100 squats, 50 lunges, and 200 leg-presses while contemplating the meaning of life
- Beg the universe to just make the pain stop for 2 seconds
- Cry a little
Step 4: Repeat steps 1-3, but with more pain
- Do it all again. Because, well, you're a masochist
- Call your mom to report your location and let her know you'll be home in 3 hours (or 2, or 5)
- Realize you're actually just a prisoner in your own body, and the only way out is through the squat rack