5 Ways to Make Yourself Sad on a Monday Morning

1. Wake up to the sound of your alarm clock blaring "The Sound of Silence" by Simon & Garfunkel

Nothing says "Monday morning" like the haunting melody of an oldie-but-goodie.

5 Ways to Make Yourself Sadder

2. Stare at a blank wall for 20 minutes

Just sit there, and stare. Let the minutes tick by like grains of sand in a hourglass.

2. Stare at a blank wall

3. Listen to the sound of your coffee maker whirring like a dying animal

It's the perfect way to wake up your senses, or not.

3. Listen to a dying animal

4. Read your phone's notifications from last week

Nothing says "good morning" like reliving last week's existential dread.

4. Revisit last week's existential dread

5. Watch the news for 5 minutes straight

The perfect way to start the week: with a healthy dose of global catastrophe.

5. Watch the news for more catastrophe