Monday Mandates: Office Attire, Optional Toilet Paper Protocol

Article 1: Mandatory Monday Mornings are for Meetings

Section 1, Subsection A: You will attend all meetings, regardless of your better judgment.

Learn more about Meeting Mandates

Article 2: Optional Toilet Paper Protocol

Section 2, Subsection B: If you are caught without toilet paper in the break room, you will be subject to a 5-minute penalty in the time-warping vortex of the supply closet.

Understand the Fines and Penalties

Disclaimer: The above mandates are subject to change at the whim of the CEO. Don't say we didn't warn you.

Learn about the CEO's Whim Mandate