Emergency Protocols - Appendix A

Section 1: Toaster Malfunctions

Section 2: System Overload

Section 3: Unforeseen Circumstances

Section 4: Toaster-astrophysicists

When dealing with a toaster that has achieved sentience, follow these steps:

  1. Perform a thorough examination of the toaster's consciousness.
  2. Engage in meaningful dialogue with the toaster.
  3. Offer it a cup of coffee.