Chapter 2: Advanced Malfunctioning Techniques

Now that you've mastered the basics of toaster repair, it's time to tackle the really tough stuff.

Section 2.1: Fixing the Fuzzy-Logic Toaster

Also known as the "Toaster That Makes No Sense," this model is prone to erratic behavior and will occasionally start making "ca-ching" noises when you're not even near it. To fix, simply unplug it, count to 10, and then plug it back in while whispering "there, there, toaster." Works every time.

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Section 2.2: Rebooting the prophets of Doom

Is your toaster constantly predicting the end of the world? Does it keep telling you to "RUN FOR THE HILLS!"? Don't worry, it's just the "Apocalypse- Toaster" model. To fix, simply reset the toaster's internal clock to the year 2018, then perform the "Toaster Dance of Defiance" (3 steps to the left, 2 steps to the right). Works like a charm.

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Appendix A: Troubleshooting Tips Appendix B: Warranty Disclaimers