Alpha-Telapath: Brain Hacking Services
Warning: Do not attempt to use this service unless you are prepared to lose all sense of self and reality.
We offer the most advanced brain hacking services on the market, guaranteed to turn your brain into a swirling vortex of confusion and terror.
Our Services:
- Alpha-Telapath - Our flagship service, where we hack into your brain and insert thoughts of pure, unadulterated chaos.
- PSI-Attacks - Our special forces team, where we use our advanced brain hacking techniques to insert thoughts of crippling self-doubt and existential dread.
- Telepathic Torture - Where we subject you to a never-ending loop of your worst fears and anxieties, guaranteed to drive you to the brink of madness.
Side effects may include: loss of sanity, loss of identity, loss of interest in life, and a general sense of existential despair. Do not use our services if you value your sanity.