Step 1: Assess your hunger levels. Are you a 1-5 on the Hunger Scale or a 6-10?
Step 2: Choose your food coma risk factors. Do you have a couch or a hammock to pass out in?
Step 3: Select your food. Be it pizza, Chinese, or a bucket of chicken, remember: quantity over quality.
Step 4: Pay. With cash, credit, or a combination of both. Don't get caught with your wallet in the food.
Step 5: Eat. And eat some more. Repeat this step until you're ready to face the consequences of your actions.