THE TUESDAY MANDATES

Because one Tuesday Mandate wasn't enough, here are some more:

• Mandate 1: All citizens must eat tacos on Tuesdays.
• Mandate 2: All meetings will start at precisely 3:14 PM.
• Mandate 3: The national anthem will now consist solely of 'Who Let the Dogs Bark?' played on a kazoo.
• Mandate 4: All citizens must wear their hair in the shape of a question mark.

And don't even get me started on the Tuesday Exceptions.