Monday Morning Tips:

• Perform a 10-minute morning dance routine to get those endorphins pumping.
• Eat an entire pizza by yourself, but only if it's for research purposes.
• Tell yourself you'll be productive, even if you just play video games all day.
• Meditate for 10 minutes, but only while scrolling through social media.
• Repeat the phrase 'I'm a functioning member of society' in front of the mirror until you believe it.