Welcome to the Prophecy Bureau, where the future is written, but not always correctly.
We're not just predictors, we're the ones who make the predictions happen. Okay, sometimes. When we're not too busy eating Cheetos and browsing cat videos.
Our prophecies range from the mundane to the utterly absurd, and from the near future to the slightly-less-soon-than-that. We've got a team of experts who are, uh, "experts" at looking into crystal balls, reading tea leaves, and making things up as we go along.
See our prophecies in action Learn about our methods Understand the fine print Hire us for your next big eventDisclaimer: We're not actually predicting the future. We're just making things up. Don't blame us if you get caught in a tornado or accidentally become a professional snail trainer.
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