MINUTE-BY-MINUTE BREAKDOWN OF OUR CRISIS MANAGEMENT STRATEGY

**9:00 AM - The Siren Goes Off**: We activate the Crisis Management System, sending an alert to all team members that the meeting is going to start in 2 minutes. The room fills with an air of impending doom.

09:02: The Siren Stops - The siren stops, and we take our seats, ready to face the music.

09:05: The Chairman Takes Over - Our fearless leader, Chairman Bob, begins to speak, dictating the agenda and setting the tone for the meeting.

09:10 - Random person in the back row raises hand, and the meeting descends into anarchy.

09:15: We Get Lost in Email Chains - Someone mentions a tangentially related email from 2018, and we spend the next 10 minutes trying to recall what it's about.

09:25 - The coffee machine breaks down, plunging the room into darkness.

09:30: The Whiteboard Gets Vandalized - Someone decides to 'reorganize' the whiteboard, covering it in illegible squiggle.

09:35: The Scapegoat is Chosen - We select a sacrificial lamb to bear the burden of our collective incompetence.

09:40: The Meeting Goes Rogue - The room erupts in a cacophony of arguments, and we realize we've been here for 3 hours.

09:45: The Siren Starts Again - We wrap up, but only because we're all secretly terrified of being trapped here forever.

09:46: The Siren Stops... Again - And we're back where we started, with a renewed sense of existential dread.

**The End.**

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