Rules

Rule 1: Do not underestimate the importance of a well-planned snack schedule

Subrule 1: Regularly fertilize your brain with caffeine

Rule 2: Never, ever, ever, ever underestimate the value of a good lie

Subrule 1: Lying can be an art form, but only if you practice it regularly

Rule 3: Always, always, always, always prioritize your cat's needs

Subrule 1: Your cat is not a substitute for a human relationship, but it's a good start