Our Services
- Insurance Policies - We'll sell you insurance on anything, even your own sanity!
- Therapy Sessions - Our therapists are trained to make you feel worse about yourself!
- Paranoid Products - Because who needs sleep when you can buy our overpriced, ineffective merchandise?
Our Team
- John, CEO - He's the one who decided to start this company. Good luck finding him, he's always hiding in a corner somewhere.
- Jane, CMO - She's the one who designed our logo. It's a mess.
- Bob, CTO - He's the one who made all the website code. It's a mess.