Deputy Chairperson's Guide to Bureaucratic Red Tape

Chapter 1: The Art of Doing Absolutely Nothing

As a deputy chairperson, you're tasked with making things move. Or, at the very least, with making the appearance of movement.

  1. Step 1: Create an Ad Hoc Committee
  2. Step 2: Write a Long Report
  3. Step 3: Meeting Schedule (or How to Fill Out a Meeting Request Form 500 Times)
  4. Step 4: Create Powerpoint Presentations That Put Everyone to Sleep
  5. Step 5: Attend Meetings (and Pretend to Care)

And that's it! With these simple steps, you'll be well on your way to becoming a master of bureaucratic red tape.

Chapter 2: Bureaucratic Red Tape Hacks

Did you know that you can use bureaucratic red tape to your advantage? Here are some of our favorite hacks:

Remember, the key to mastering bureaucratic red tape is to never actually do anything.

Step 1: Create an Ad Hoc Committee

Step 1: Create an Ad Hoc Committee

As a deputy chairperson, it's your job to create an ad hoc committee that will do absolutely nothing.

Here's a simple formula to follow:

create_ad_hoc_committee = (number_of_deputies + 3) * 2

Where number_of_deputies is the number of people who are actually doing any real work.

This will give you a committee of at least 8 people who will spend all their time arguing over who gets to chair it.

Step 2: Write a Long Report

Step 2: Write a Long Report

Reports are the bread and butter of bureaucratic red tape. The longer and more convoluted, the better!

Here are some tips for writing the perfect report:

Step 3: Meeting Schedule

Step 3: Meeting Schedule

Meetings are the lifeblood of bureaucratic red tape. And by "lifeblood", we mean the thing that makes you want to take a nap.

Here's a meeting schedule that's sure to drive you all crazy:

meeting_schedule = (number_of_deputies * 3) + 2 * (number_of_meetings - 1)

Where number_of_deputies is the number of people attending the meeting, and number_of_meetings is the total number of meetings scheduled.

Example: If you have 4 deputies and 12 meetings, your meeting schedule will be 16 meetings with 11 cancellations.

Step 4: Create Powerpoint Presentations That Put Everyone to Sleep

Step 4: Create Powerpoint Presentations That Put Everyone to Sleep

Powerpoint presentations are a staple of bureaucratic red tape. The more boring and convoluted, the better!

Here are some tips for creating the perfect Powerpoint presentation:

Step 5: Attend Meetings (and Pretend to Care)

Step 5: Attend Meetings (and Pretend to Care)

Meetings are the lifeblood of bureaucratic red tape. And by "lifeblood", we mean the thing that makes you want to pull your hair out.

Here are some tips for attending meetings with a healthy dose of apathy: