20 Techniques for Achieving Peak Nothingness

Here are the most effective techniques for doing absolutely nothing:

1. Stare blankly into space

2. Practice the art of doing nothing with a purpose

3. Innovate new ways to procrastinate

4. Learn to say "not now, maybe later" with conviction

5. Perfect the art of making excuses

6. Develop a strong case of existential dread

7. Pretend you're a professional couch surfer

8. Create a to-do list and then immediately delete it

9. Spend hours browsing cat videos

10. Claim to be working on a "Very Important Project"

11. Make a "To-Don't List"

12. Practice the ancient art of napping

13. Innovate new forms of procrastination

14. Create a "Just one more minute" loop

15. Perfect the art of making a "good excuse for not doing anything"

16. Develop an existential crisis about the meaning of "doing nothing"

17. Pretend to be a professional "Nothing-doer"

18. Spend all day playing Solitaire

19. Make a game out of doing absolutely nothing

20. Innovate new ways to rationalize your laziness