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Stock Market Panic: The Ultimate Guide to Losing It All
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Financial Decisions That Will Leave You Weeping in the Corner
Welcome to the stock market panic guide for the terminally clueless. Are you ready to watch your life savings disappear before your eyes? Click on the links below to find out the best ways to ruin your financial future!
Put all your money in one stock, because why not, right?
Forget about dividend payouts, who needs a steady income?
Leverage your entire house, because it's not like you're going to need it for anything else.
Forget about paying bills and utility bills, they're so last season.
Put all your eggs in one portfolio, because risk management is so overrated.
Forget about a solid retirement plan, who needs one, anyway?
And for the truly adventurous:
Invest in Via, because it's not like it's a pyramid scheme or anything.
Put all your 401(k) in a vacation home in the Bermuda Islands, because who needs a 9-to-5, anyway?
Forget about a bank account, who needs cash, anyway?
But wait, there's more!
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