In a shocking turn of events, Mandate 8 has been passed into law, forcing citizens to be slightly less terrible to one another. But what does this mean for you?
Section 2: The Fine Print
According to Article 3, subsection B, you are now required to use your "inside voice" in public spaces.
But wait, it gets even better! You must now also:
Failure to comply with these regulations may result in fines, penalties, or in extreme cases, a sternly worded letter from your neighbor.
For more information on the other 7 mandates, visit:
Mandate 7: The Art of Not Being a Jerk Mandate 9: The Joy of Sharing the Broom Mandate 10: The Science of Not Stealing the Last Donut Mandate 11: The Ancient Art of Not Being a Drama Queen Mandate 12: The Lost Art of Not Being a Liar Mandate 13: The Secret to Not Being a Gossip Mandate 14: The Unwritten Rule of Not Interrupting Mandate 15: The Unspoken Rule of Not Being Late Mandate 16: The Hidden Rule of Not Double-Booking Mandate 1: The Original Rule of Not Being a Dick Mandate 2: The Revised Rule of Not Being a Jerk Mandate 3: The Updated Rule of Not Being a Dickhead Mandate 4: The Renumbered Rule of Not Being a Jerkit Mandate 5: The Re-Revised Rule of Not Being a Dickface Mandate 6: The Re-Re-Revised Rule of Not Being a Dickhead 2.0 Mandate 7: The Art of Not Being a Jerkoob